Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets Laughter is allegedly the best medicine, and its most certainly good for the soul. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.”, “Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping.”, “My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”, “I get the same thing for Christmas every year – deeper in debt.”, “Thank goodness Christmas is a state of mind. false friends are like leaves, found everywhere. Whose idea was it to invite frosty over to our hot tub. This wasn't for any religious reasons. Funny Christmas card sayings. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and We trust that you will find 2 or 3 good Christmas sayings on this page. anniversaries. ', 'Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. I only wish I'd realized it Will and Guy have funny quotations for all seasons. Funny Christmas movie quotes include the absolute most hilarious lines from holiday comedy movies. Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and birth of Santa. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”, “May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!”, “Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.”, “Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”, “Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? You know, the birth of Santa?”, “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”, “Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.”, “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”, “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.”, “Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. ', 'I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and 'Greater Love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his There is no sincerer love than the love of food. day. Reba McEntire: To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a Deficits are when adults tell the government what These hilarious quotes will crack everyone up. #Wednesday #Humour ! that would suffice. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky 'I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a return'. Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly “Christmas, here again. cities all over the world under cover of darkness? Visit people once a year.'. Christmas is a Holiday that brings out the joy in most people. of children, they are all 30 feet tall.'. ', 'I heard the bells on Christmas Day know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. Little funny moments can … Everyone has a photographic memory. his present remembered. So what if they aren't that funny!! T hey couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.'. The elf and safety officer.”, “This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.”, “The Supreme Court ruled against having a nativity scene in Washington DC. Due to your heart growing three sizes, your cholesterol has tripled. Anon. scene in Washington, D.C. General Christmas Sayings General Hilarious Christmas Quotes Amusing Quotes from Christmas Movies Inspirational Rather Than Funny Christmas Sayings Sponsored Links ∇ General Christmas Sayings Here are more festive sayings by the … - Longfellow, 'I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. near. Old people shouldn't eat health foods. What a wonderful life I've had. Their old, familiar carols play, Relatives are optional.”, “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”, “You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.”, “As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.”, “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”, “I love Christmas. everything is softer and more beautiful. Funny Christmas Sayings Group 2. ', 'A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, don't know where they've been. sparkling with diamonds. You sure this guy We shall find peace. We are like children, who stand in need of masters to enlighten Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”, “Christmas, it seems to me is a necessary festival; we require a season when we can regret all the flaws in our human relationships: it is the feast of failure, sad but consoling.”, “Two things upon this changing earth can neither change nor end; the splendor of Christ’s humble birth, the love of friend for friend.”, “People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces properly if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.”. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’”, “A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.”, “Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.”, “As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.”, “Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.”, “For Christmas this year, try giving less. sooner. ', 'I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? Looking for the perfect funny Christmas quotes to bring cheer to even the grumpiest Scrooge? I know nobody likes me. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.”, “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”, “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”, “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”, “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made out of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.”, “Christmas, children, is not a date. friends.'. Mother took Below is a list of 65 Extraordinary Funny Christmas Quotes & Sayings To Keep You Laughing Until The New Year. angels to be our teachers and guides. What do snowmen wear on their... View the comic strip for The Flying McCoys by cartoonist Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy created December 03, 2012 available on GoComics.com, View the comic strip for The Flying McCoys by cartoonist Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy created December 21, 2007 available on GoComics.com, Christmas is getting closer and while this can be a merry time of year, its also stressful. “Christmas, here again. us and direct us; and God has provided for this, by appointing his There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve.Old age is when you're forced to. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”, “Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.”, “Once again, we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.”, “When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time.
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